Are we being good ancestors?

Many of us went to grade school in the early 1950s. We remember standing in lines to get a sugar cube doused with polio vaccine. That vaccine was discovered by Dr. Jonas Salk.

The other day, I discovered a thoughtful question by Dr. Salk I pass along to you for your pondering: “Are we being good ancestors?” He asked this questions in his later years, particularly as he considered the larger dilemmas underlying how to protect the earth’s environment.

But it’s also a great question for each of us as we consider what impact, what difference-making we might still do in whatever years we have left. Another doctor, psychoanalyst Erik Erikson, spoke of this challenge in 1950 when he identified “generativity” as a key psychosocial task for persons ages 40-65.

You may or may not have zoomed past age 65. If you have, generativity is likely still a task you might take seriously. (Hey, I don’t want to be the only late-70’s guy who thinks this way!)

Erikson described “a generativity that will promote positive values in the lives of the next generation. Unfortunately, we set the example of greed, wanting a bigger and better everything, with no thought of what will make it a better world for our great-grandchildren. That’s why we go on depleting the earth: we’re not thinking of the next generations.’’

Generativity is basically “making your mark” on the world, creating or nurturing people and/or things that will outlast you. That’s why family is so essential to so many of us! Or our work, or our community involvement. In our own ways, each of us has a need to make a positive change that benefits other people. For instance: During this COVID-19 time, basic efforts to make face masks have been a great community contribution. Please keep it up. We still need to protect others.

But we may not feel like we’ve contributed much. Oh, perhaps when we’re younger. But now? Perhaps we identify more with Erikson’s word that is the opposite of generativity. The word is “stagnation.” By failing to find a way to give back, maybe even to leave a legacy of values lived, we let ourselves drift into a funk of unproductivity and stagnation.

Some in our 70s and beyond seem particularly vulnerable to that attitude. If you resemble that experience, hitch up your Depends and kick that attitude out the door! When we mope around about how “worthless” we are to anyone else, it can become a self-fulfilling attitude.

We are living in a time weird daily patterns, aren’t we. But don’t that weirdness decide that you are stagnant, not reaching out to others, not looking for simple ways to bring a smile to another person’s face, or hopeful sounds to that person’s ears.

I just drew a happy face on my mask, and it got a positive response the first time I wore in a store. How about that!

I want to trust we each have life-values to pass along. How do you want to respond to Dr. Salk’s question about being good ancestors? For myself, I want to be a good ancestor, leaving something of positive value to family, friends, community, even the world. It isn’t hard, folks. It’s how we love one another.

Paul Graves, M.Div., is lead geezer-in-training for Elder Advocates, a consulting ministry on aging issues. Contact Paul at 208-610-4971 or elderadvocates@nctv.com.