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A time to teach each other well

| June 3, 2020 1:00 AM

Many of you know how positive and forward-looking I try to be. Sometimes it’s easy to be that way. This is not one of those times. The mounting numbers of pandemic deaths and positive cases and resulting horrible economic impacts keep dealing us body blows.

And now the current cultural crisis ignited by the death of George Floyd by a Minneapolis police officer crystallizes other visceral fears. our nation is in serious peril on many levels.

This column is normally aimed at older adults. It is now. But I also hope to expand our vision that includes your children and grandchildren, and anyone of a generation different than your own.

We need to reach out in an intergenerational way to see we are all part of the national crisis we are living. We need to learn from each other how to live emotionally healthier than we’ve settled for before.

Back 50 years ago, 1970, the popular musical group Crosby, Stills and Nash released “Teach Your Children Well”, a provocative protest song we would do well to remember today. It called on parents to

“feed them (their children) on your dreams,

The ones they pick, the one you’ll know by.

Don’t you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry.

So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.”

The second verse says the same thing to the children – teach your parents well. It begins with this poignant reminder:

“And you, of tender years,

Can’t know the fears that your elders grew by,

And so please help them with your youth,

They seek the truth before they can die.”

Wow! We need to learn from each other! It’s a reality that we too easily forget — especially the part when we older ones need to, and can, learn from the younger one.

So first let’s embrace the concept that learning is really a busy two-way street. We’re wise to look both ways before crossing.

Now the big questions: What are we teaching each other? What are we learning from each other?

Not long ago, I heard a man my age trot out the tired old cliché, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” I don’t believe that! Perhaps he really does. If so, he’s missing out on some exciting learning in his calcifying age.

Since the shelter-in-place began, I’ve watched touching moments of intergenerational cooperation and compassion. I pay special attention to the children who reach out to grandparent-types because the kids worry about the ones with gray hair and wrinkles. Young adults reach out in respect to their own children, or their older parents.

During the political and social protests of this past weeks, I’ve watch news clips of young-and-old persons cleaning up the destructive debris outside stores. People of all ages and ethnicities marching together in peaceful protest against what they feel are unjust laws. I see persons of different generations stand up to the vandals, the looters, any others who use social unrest to foment civil destruction.

Compassion, cooperation, courage, doing-what-needs-to-be-done tasks, respecting others – these are some of the values that most of us hope to embody in ourselves. We want to share them with other generations of adults, teens and children.

If they are worth something to you, how do you offer them to persons of younger generations? How do you learn that a younger person has those same values you find important?

Value-learning and value-sharing are on that 2-way street, remember. Walking that street together is one important way we can make our way through these perilous times.

Paul Graves, M.Div., is Lead Geezer-in-Training of Elder Advocates, a consulting ministry on aging issues. Contact Paul at 208-610-4971 or elderadvocates@nctv.com.