Cold and flu season hits the hardest in the middle of the night

The first part of this column is not for the faint of heart.

If you haven't had the flu this season or had kids with violent flu symptoms, please skip down to the second set of dots.

Last week started out kind of slowly around the Keyes household. Marlisa was a bit under the weather and Olivia, 4, and Austin, 9, were feeling intermitantly punky.

The cold and flu season has hit this region with a vengeance this year. Every teacher I have talked with says enrollment is way down. The doctors' offices are as busy as they have been for quite some time. Olivia was the first one struck in our home. She had been green around the gills for several days. I knew the symptoms, so I volunteered to sleep alone so Mom and daughter could snuggle.

It was Tuesday night at about 11:30 when I was awakened by the sickening coughing noise children make right before they … "OLIVIA, ARRGHHH!" I heard Marlisa's scream and ran into the bedroom and turned on the lights.

There was Marlisa, lying in bed holding our precious princess above her. There was Olivia, doing her best impression of a fountain above — and on — her mother.

"Give me Olivia," I instructed Marlisa. She was glad to, but for some reason she didn't recognize the spoken English language at that moment.

"Give me the kid," I said again as I snatched Olivia away to the nearest bathroom.

Olivia would throw up no fewer than four times during the next six hours — somehow reloading everytime with semi-liquid ammunition that must have been stored in some secret location.

We ran three sets of bedsheets through the washer and dryer that night and Marlisa and I didn't sleep while Austin missed the whole Mount St. Helen's imitation.

Wednesday morning I told Austin what he missed and he said he was sorry he was left out of all the activity. I didn't believe him.

After a busy day at school and soccer practice Wednesday night, Austin felt pretty tired but was hungry for a hamburger and an ice cream cone. I assumed Marlisa hadn't done much other than shower following the previous night, so I took Austin through the drivethru at McDonald's.

As soon as we got home, he went right to bed. I was still sequestering myself from everyone, so I kissed Austin goodnight on his forehead and snuck away to the furthest germ-free corner of the house I could find.

A few hours passed and I awoke to another scream: "Austin, get in the bathroom!"

Almost on cue, I heard the familiar coughing sound and … Let's put it this way, when I got to the living room, it looked like someone had turned on a sprinkler and decided to "water" in a 10-foot radius and had turned down the faucet in a pretty straight path to the bathroom.

The scene was gross, real gross. There was a smell that ran both Marlisa and myself out of the house and there had to be several inches of not-quite-processed hamburger and icecream in the carpet, on the couch and everywhere in the vicinity.

Marlisa cleaned up as much as she could and took a midnight trip to Wal-Mart to find rags and a powder that was guaranteed to clean up after pet and kid spills. It didn't.

The next morning she went down to Merwin's to rent a steam cleaner. Austin felt well enough to go to school Thursday afternoon.

My ability to avoid this nasty bug was successful all the way through Sunday. While the above-mentioned symptoms (and some not mentioned) didn't fully hit me, I did stay in my sweats all day Sunday and watched the living room flip upside down a few times.

The sleeping arrangements are back to normal now and here's hoping the bug has left our house for good.

Kevin Hutchens is headed for Cooperstown to the Baseball Hall of Fame, mark my words. How can I be so certain the 10-year-old, Washington Elementary School fifth-grader is destined for greatness?

Each hall of fame inductee has a legend. Babe Ruth used his bat to point to where he was going to launch a homerun. Pitchers would tell stories about throwing baseballs through walls when they were kids.

Kevin? His legend's opening chapter will begin with how bats slipped through his hands when he was 9 and 10 years old. Last year, while taking cuts at a baseball in his backyard, his bat slipped out of his hands and went right through his parents' sliding door.

This past weekend, the legend continued when he was taking swats at a ball attached to his basketball hoop's pole. He took a swing, the bat flew out of his hands and shattered the back window of his parents' van.

The legend continues?

You were right, those were humans and not penguins waterskiing this weekend in and around City Beach and Condo Del Sol.

Rob Harrison, Greg Tangen and Peter Gillis put on quite a show in their dry suits.

Gillis and Tangen skied every month except December and January.

"I could actually hear ice and slush when I was in the water," Gillis said.

Gillis estimated the water temperature was in the high 30s.

It's nice to know that we are still in the ski season, the waterski season, that is.

I received this letter from Schweitzer GM Ron Nova. It goes to show you that some people appreciate the extra effort our resort has put out this season to stay open.

I have also heard nothing but raves about the grooming staff that has gone above and beyond to locate snow and to move it so skiers can have an enjoyable experience.

Here's the letter:

"Dear Schweitzer,

"We skiers are an opinionated lot — especially locals with season passes.

"We are far more likely to find something to complain about with our ski area then to pass on a compliment.

"Having said that — I want to commend management and the entire hill for having the guts to stay open during this incredibly weird and difficult snow season. I and my family have been up at least once a week throughout the season (even during the pineapple days).

"Many ski areas in our liability conscious age might have chosen to close when faced with the conditions we have had. I am sure that the costs of staying open with virtually no guests were considerable- probably more then being closed. So I applaud you for being a true customer service company and for making something skiable out of dirt and alders and a little bit of snow. Your grooming crew has done an exceptional job just getting routes open to the chairlifts. Kudos to all of you.

"Alan Millar"

In an editorial last week, I made a comment that city officials should consider Panhandle State Bank's proposal to tear down Harold's soon-to-be-vacant grocery store and to do what they could to keep this homegrown company here.

I suggested a special use permit for that block might be the best option to deal with the building height issue. The move would limit the height discussion to one block and save any citywide discussion for another day.

I also mentioned that a new bank building would be an improvement and more functional than what is there now. What I should have written as a new bank building will be an improvement over a vacant store and that jobs created and kept because of the new building would be an improvement over a vacant building that offers no employment.

I'll miss Harold's as much as anyone. The hometown booster attitude exhibited by Ralph Bloom and personified by his lovely daughter, Mollie, will be missed. The bigger stores are harder on older folks and they don't have the same credit policy people on fixed incomes have come to appreciate at Harold's.

Panhandle State Bank would be a tremendous replacement for Harold's. It has hometown service, remembers its roots and supports everything that goes on around here.

I should have been more clear.

David Keyes is publisher of the Bee. His column runs Tuesdays.