We were 'Punk'd' when the Buck didn't stop here

There is a hip show on MTV called Punk'd.

I haven't seen it. I don't know anyone who has but here is what I know about the premise. Someone tries to pull a fast one on someone else or a group. Everybody laughs when it is discovered the person or group has been fooled — or Punk'd, to use the MTV vernacular.

I have heard these are the same Einsteins who gave us the MTV show, Jackass.

So there we were Sunday morning along Fifth Avenue waiting for the Panhandle Milling Company grain elevator to come falling down.

Tipover time was 6:30 a.m. and roughly 200 of us had gathered to watch an event that would forever alter Sandpoint's cityscape.

One person was enterprising enough to sell coffee and doughnuts. Nearly everyone had a camera or two. We all waited … and waited … and waited.

We were Punk'd, pure and simple.

I got there around 5:30 a.m. because I wanted to get as many "before" photos as possible. I quickly noticed there wasn't a cable or two attached to the grain elevater. A second or two later I noticed there wasn't a Caterpillar or anything else to attach cables to to pull the elevator down.

At about 6:09 a.m., I bumped into Don and Sue Brown and their friend Ron Bame who were sharing a Thermos of coffee while standing in front of the dry cleaners.

"I don't think this is going to happen," Bame said. "I think the Daily Bee did it to us this time."

I introduced myself and explained that we had a copy of the permit that Jeffrey T. Buck applied for to topple the elevator at 6:30 that morning.

The clock moved closer to 6:30 and out-of-state drivers were surely wondering what kind of lunatics would get out of bed this early on a Sunday line up on one side of the street just to gaze upward to the heavens. It has all the makings of a church, don't you think?

Still, Jeff and Lynette Rands tried to keep sons Mitchell, 9, and Jackson, 7, excited.

"Just think," said an animated Jeff. "If this happens, it will be something you'll remember the rest of your lives." They weren't buying it. Their sister, Madeline, slept through the whole thing at home.

Right around 6:30 a.m., a person crossed Fifth Avenue and began knocking on the entrance facing the street. "Try the doorbell!" someone yelled.

There wasn't a soul on the property, save a few crows and pigeons.

A few minutes later, a Sandpoint Police officer announced to the crowd that they had been Punk'd. Not really. He said Mr. Buck had failed to secure all of the permits needed to topple Sandpoint's tallest building.

According to city officials Buck did have demolition permits from both the Idaho Transportation Department and the city for Sunday morning. What he failed to do was notify the neighbors, including a veterinary office that would probably have its windows blown out by a falling building. He also didn't notify Avista about any powerlines that could be in harm's way.

Buck also did not remove a lamppost near the structure, which was a required condition before bringing down the building.

Officials also said Buck claimed his equipment planned for Sunday's demolition was inoperable.

Good news! Buck has rescheduled the demolition to next Sunday at 6:30 a.m.

Really.

As a public service, the Bee will call Avista, the neighbors, the city and see if the lamppost has been removed and will report back in Saturday's paper. We can't contact Buck, he doesn't have a phone.

Punk us once, shame on us. But Punk us twice … the Buck stops here.

I'll allow the readers decide which title will be used on next Sunday's show or no-show: Will it be Punk'd 2, or Jackass? Or? Stay tuned, MTV fans.

Sandpoint Tennis Associa-tion update … if you are playing against the doubles team of Ron Gross, 71, and Jim Parsons, 74, you are facing 145 years of experience and one racquet Parsons should have licensed as a deadly weapon.

In last week's column I mistakenly stated that Kathy McIntire was Aaron Hunt's Mom. Kathy operates St. Francis Preschool and Kindergarten. She is Hunt's ex-mother-in-law. Hunt's mom is Molly Forsman of Sandpoint.

Can you think of a caption to fit the above photo? This picture was taken last summer on the corner of First Avenue and Cedar Street. Brian Wood took the photo as Cliff Irish was trying to move this huge Cat through downtown. The two other trucks had actually stopped in the street/highway to make deliveries essentially tying up Idaho's North - South highway.

The two women crossing the road were dwarfed by the trucks and were scurrying across the road as fast as possible.

"Who says we don't need a bypass?" was what Wood wrote as a caption to the photo.

Yours?

Send in your cutline suggestions to dkeyes@bonnercountydaiybee.com. I'll print the best ones.

E-mail of the Week:

I owe my mother1. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done."If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me religion. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about time travel. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me logic. "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me more logic. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me foresight. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me irony. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of osmosis. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about contortionism. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about stamina. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about weather. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about hypocrisy. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the circle of life. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about behavior modification. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about envy. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze

that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a

barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

David Keyes is publisher of the Bee. His column runs Tuesdays now that the baseball season is almost over. Go Royals!