Family's reunion brings plenty of oohs, aahs

This weekend, Mother Nature got it right.

Four consecutive holiday weekend days without rain? When is the last time that has happened — including any Fourth of July you wish to recall?

The world that revolves around Sandpoint is a smiling place this Tuesday morning. People have overdosed on fun and yard work and were greeted by a rainstorm early Tuesday that meant the outside fun was over anyway.

Of course there are those shuffling around today who had forgotten the sheer power the radiating sun has on white skin that has been covered in layers of clothes for the last eight months. Those folks are pretty easy to spot — they are moving very slowly, can't turn their head left or right and have pained, tearful expressions on their faces if they have to raise their arms or legs, which is always.

These folks also let out a combined blood-curdling scream this morning as they attempted to get dressed.

Know anybody like this? If you do, I'll bet it is the same person who forgets how to slow down and stop on ice and snow each winter. Some people never learn.

Speaking of the beginning of the summer season. The "Sandpoint is a Walking Town" signs take on an important significance this time of year because newcomers and visitors might actually believe the signs.

This is the time of year when all of us have to remember to look both ways before crossing one-way streets and be prepared to sprint across First or Fifth avenues.

Crossing First Avenue is an adventure. Do you ever wonder why there are no insurance businesses located along the downtown portion of First Avenue? Here's why.

Imagine three lanes of traffic all headed the same direction. The vehicles — which could range from VW Bugs to tractor-trailers hauling logs or pigs — line up next to each other and are all contemplating how they are going to maneuver around the upcoming 90-degree turn without landing in the Athlete's Choice's front window.

In addition, there are vehicles trying to turn onto First Avenue while some vehicles are trying to — are you ready? — parallel park along both sides of this avenue which is really Idaho's north-south highway. There is no way to parallel park on either of the outside lanes of traffic without completely stopping traffic behind you.

Believe it or not, in some places in the United States, the terms parallel parking and major highway are not synonymous.

Now let's throw pedestrians into the mix.

Since Sandpoint is a walking town, vehicles are supposed to come to a complete stop when a pedestrian approaches a crosswalk. First Avenue is a little different that way, too.

With three lanes of traffic bearing down on anyone attempting to cross the road, you are grateful when one vehicle stops in the lane closest to you. The only problem with that is it lulls you into a false sense of security as you boldly jump off the curb, wave at the nice driver and cross in front of him.

At that point you are greeted by another vehicle in the center lane. Now depending on whether this person is sipping on a latte, talking on a cell phone or wondering why there are three lanes of traffic cutting right through downtown, this person may or may not stop for you.

It's been my experience that the second and third lane folks panic and hit the accelerator in those situations.

If you have survived the first two lanes of traffic you can almost taste the other side at this point and some people make a nearly always fatal mistake here. They foolishly think that two lanes of traffic have come to a halt to let you through, of course the third lane will be open.

No way. If the person driving in the third lane isn't distracted by the amount of traffic, pedestrians, a latte or cell phone, the only thought going through the driver's mind is: "What are those two idiot drivers ahead of me doing stopping in the middle of the road?"

The person driving in the third lane can't see you because the other two vehicles have blocked the driver's view of you crossing the street. When in doubt, he speeds up. Of course, there are a few people around here who go to the other extreme and become commando pedestrians.

These folks absolutely dare vehicles to run them over them. They will hop off the sidewalk on First Avenue — won't look both ways — and will stare down drivers as they stand right in the path of oncoming traffic.

To make matters worse, the pedestrian crossing areas aren't painted this year.

When will this madness end? If only we could displace some of the traffic that didn't need to be funneled downtown through a highway (or byway?) that was close enough to downtown but still far enough away to ease congestion and to save lives.

Someone should look into this.

Until then, I hope my friend Bonnie Shields will make a fortune producing a T-shirt with the alternative to "Sandpoint is a Walking Town" slogan. How does "Sandpoint, Walk across any road at anytime at your own risk" strike you?. Hits you like a Mack truck on First Avenue doesn't it?

Petty Officer Daniel Resso earned oohs and aahs all across Hawaii when a photo of him holding his son, Darrian, ran on Page 1 of the Star-Bulletin on Dec. 10.

Why the oohs and aahs?

Resso was photographed cuddling his month-old son after he had returned from six months in the Gulf of Oman, Gulf of Aden and Red Sea with the U.S. Navy.

Resso's wife, Danielle, gave birth to Darrian while Dad was half a world away.

Daniel is the son of Steve and Karen Resso of Sagle and is a 2002 SHS graduate. Danielle (D.J.) is the daughter of Bob and Dawn McCabe of Sagle and also graduated from SHS in 2002. Daniel joined the Navy in September 2002 and is currently stationed in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii.

The Ressos are coming home later this month and I'll bet they will hear a few more oohs and ahhs. Thanks to Sarah Resso for the story.

Don't forget Timberfest this weekend. The festivities actually begin tonight at 5:30 p.m. at Hooties at the Elks Club. The family of Gary Doyle will accept the Bull of the Woods award posthumously for a man who was a fixture here for years.

The public is invited.

Watch for the Timberfest schedule later this week in the Bee.

E-mail of the week:

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says …

"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are … )

David Keyes is publisher of the Bee. His column runs weekly.