ITD needs to enroll in a

refresher college course

For those of you who are worried about the Sand Creek Highway, fear not…for the ITD has created a marvelous solution. They're sending all the leadership to "Spin Doctor College."

The course work takes less than six months, and after attending classes such as Bullet Dodging 101, Deception 230, Glossy CYA 235, Levitation 240, Word Smithing 245, Permit Fudging 250, Grooming and Brooming 300, Taxpayer Ripping and Dipping 340 and Accountability Shifting 400, they receive their degree and are now called "Spingineers." They will be setting up a hot line to address all concerns.

The Spingineers have incredible abilities. They can fill Highway 95 North (K-Mart area bog hole) with 100,000 yards of fill one year; get shut down by the Clark Fork Coalition for a year; then take 100,000 yards of fill back out the next year; levitate the highway on cedar bark and never exceed budget or scheduling! I tell you it's magic!

Wait! These guys are fantastic! They can go up to Bonners Ferry, remove all the trees from a steep slope on the North Hill project, then cause people to wonder, in the spring, why the mud slide buried Highway 97 for a month by merely proclaiming "the cause is under investigation."

Hang on, there's more.

Spingineer Jeff Stratten was awarded his Ph.D. in spingineering (with an emphasis on reality reframing) after dodging 120 EPA violations on the Mica Bay area project. Later, Jeff was quoted as saying "Protecting Idaho's environment is one of our highest missions." Amazing! Isn't it great? Taxpayers only had to pay half of the million dollars fine (so far).

Now, I'm really excited about the Sand Creek Highway. We can all rest assured that these ITD Spingineers will be there for us because they have a past history of wonderful accomplishment, honest and integrity. So, if you begin to worry about the Sand Creek Highway, just call the Spingineer hot line at 1-800-ITD-CYA.

DAVID HEINTZ

Sandpoint