Congress keeps us safe in tough times

Thank heavens for sensible laws to protect us in hard times!

I was pleased to see our local thrift stores remove their stock of secondhand children’s clothes because of the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act, which I was not aware had been passed by our omniscient Congress. This is apparently because some poor child sucked on a snap on his clothing and died of lead poisoning. I’m going to stop sucking on my clothes right away! This law is doubly fortunate since I have lots of money to buy all sorts of brand-new clothes for my children, who seem to go through a lot of clothes. (Maybe they are growing?) I’m sure in a tough economy when lots of people are shopping at thrift stores, they are grateful that Congress has outlawed resale of children’s clothes. After all, what could possibly be more dangerous to our children than used clothing?

On a related note, I see that the National Animal Identification System (NAIS) is up and running, according to its USDA-run website. What a great idea, to register every animal I own with a government agency! I’ve been keeping animals to help supplement my food budget, but domestic animals are apparently as dangerous as used children’s clothes. I’m so glad the government is there to tell me what to do every step of the way. I’m going to go register every chicken on my property right away. Maybe I should register all my childrens’ clothes as well.

I trust Congress to keep me safe in tough times. I couldn’t possibly do it myself.

DOUG FLUCKIGER

Clark Fork