Getting Ahead class fights poverty cycle

SANDPOINT — There are, as it turns out, rules for being poor. To survive in poverty, one must know how to live without electricity and a phone, how to move in half a day, which churches have the best rummage sales and soup kitchens, where free medical help can be found and what’s the best time of day to check grocery store dumpsters for thrown away food.

There are rules for being middle class, as well, including knowing how to negotiate the best rates on a credit card, set up a checking account, decorate the house for different holidays, get and use a library card and arrange a meeting with school teachers and administrators when you have questions about your child’s education.

Recent graduates from a course called Getting Ahead are working to put new skills into action to carry them out of “the tyranny of the moment” that living hand-to-mouth imposes and into a new chapter of life where they can plan for a brighter future. One of those skills involves tossing away their existing playbook and boning up on the expectations that come with grasping the next socio-economic rung.

“People in a poverty situation aren’t aware of what we call the middle class ‘secret rules,’” said Carrie Malakowsky, a Getting Ahead grad who now co-facilitates group work for the local Circles Initiative classes. “The goal for the Getting Ahead class is to get them to make two friendships — and intentional social bond — with two people in the middle class.”

It’s tempting to write this off as an attempt to re-engineer the economic caste system, which, in some ways, is just what the program is trying to do. But keep in mind that the same structure already exists at every income level. For the middle class, it is the never-ending jostling for top position that comes with buying the new vehicle, the faster boat, the bigger home.

Poor people have their top dogs, too, it’s just that these individuals achieve that status by sharing information and resources. In some cases, that means pointing someone to a great deal on a used car or helping them find a few days of work in a pinch.

“And when your car needs to be towed, the top dog is the person who hooks you up with Uncle Ray instead of Triple-A,” Malakowsky said.

Paul and Apryl Dionne went to their first Circles Initiative weekly meeting in January and started the Getting Ahead course six months later. The couple learned what living in poverty was all about when lack of work forced their hand and they ended up living in a motel room with their five children.

“It was one thing after another until we had a financial breakdown and had to stay in the motel,” Apryl said. “It’s all we could afford.” 

“When you’ve got no money, you can’t feed your kids and you don’t know where you’re going to live with your family, you’ve got nothing,” Paul added. “I’ve learned, now, not to judge people. When I used to see a person on the street, I’d think to myself, ‘Get a job.’  When you’ve got a job, it’s a lot easier to say that to somebody.”

The Dionnes said their time in the Circles group has caused them to better understand the meaning of community. The Getting Ahead course further underscored that understanding, according to the couple.

“What gets forgotten is that community is what makes a town,” Paul said. “It’s the community that helps — and Circles brings that all together.”

“The class opened our eyes to things we already knew,” Apryl pointed out. “A little help really brings hope into a person’s life. It could be something as minimal as giving somebody a ride to the doctor’s office. It just reminds you about what community really means.”

The group builds community from within through what Circles Initiative board member Paul Graves calls the “principle of reciprocity,” where those who have begun the journey out of poverty are called on to reach out to newcomers and help lead the way.

“It’s a cross-conversation and a reaching out with emotional assistance,” Graves said. “When you do that, you’re helping to create that future story.”

The future is something Circles members become fixated upon, mostly because it is such a foreign concept for those who have been scrambling just to get by. After completing the Getting Ahead class, they start to think longer term.

“Some of our Getting Ahead graduates are now seeking higher education and we have celebrated things like Circles leaders receiving their GEDs, getting a 4.0 grade average and being on the dean’s list,” said Shirley Paulison, the Circles community liaison through the Community Action Partnership office in Sandpoint. “We have seen Circle leaders who could barely speak in public, turn into the most vocal members of our community, willing to share their story in the hopes that it will inspire and educate others.

“Self-esteem has increased for all of our Circle leaders, creating a sense of personal empowerment and enabling them to make the decisions in their lives that they have to make to move forward — financially, spiritually and relationally,” Paulison added.

“I came out of this class with a plan,” Malakowsky said. “When you’re living in the tyranny of the moment, you don’t have time to plan. If you’re worried about how to get formula for your baby, you’re not thinking about going to college and making a better life for yourself.

“The ultimate goal of this class is to come out of it with a plan for how to get out of poverty,” she continued. “Not Health & Welfare’s plan — your plan.”

According to Paulison, the written plan gives graduates both a career map to follow and a personal contract with themselves.

“They graduate knowing that things don’t have to be the way they have always been,” the community liaison said. “They walk away with a sense that they have the tools, the strength and the power to change their lives.”

The graduates spend 16 weeks, investing nearly three hours a week in class and countless more hours in course-related research, to put their plans together. Working with their middle class “allies,” they begin the process of putting those plans into action, whether that means working toward a high school degree, signing up for vocational education, going to college or finding and keeping a full-time job in a tough employment market.

With plans in hand, these grads now they find themselves with one foot still in poverty as they strive to learn the rules of stepping into the middle class. But the act of reaching out to help others out of poverty has taught them not to feel any humiliation for where they have been, even as they work to leave it behind.

“For me, it’s not about money — it’s about changing the toxic relationships and the mindset that keeps you in poverty,” said Malakowsky. “And one of the biggest barriers you face is the sense of shame.”

“What the class taught me is to walk tall again,” Paul Dionne said. “Don’t hide, don’t slouch, hold your head up.”

“And don’t be ashamed,” Apryl said. “Don’t ever be ashamed.”

Paul Graves, who has been involved with the Circles Initiative since the local group was formed in 2006, also was instrumental in starting the Getting Ahead classes last year. Since then, the board member has watched three groups complete the process.

“After this class, people start talking about having a future,” he said. “And that’s a major step for most of these folks.”

Circles Initiative meetings are held each Tuesday at 5:30 p.m. at the United Methodist Church in Sandpoint. Dinner and childcare are provided at no cost for those who attend.

For more information on the Circles Initiative meetings, call (208) 255-2910. To learn more about the national campaign to end poverty, visit: www.movethemountain.org.

Carrie Malakowsky and other Circles leaders also have developed a web guide to community resources, available at: www.webstarts.com/bonnerresourceguide.