Council votes to change Fifth Avenue's name to Sarah Palin Way

My first thought was to run the above headline on Page 1 of today’s Bee as an April Fools gag but upon consultation with managing editor Caroline Lobsinger and others, cooler head(lines) prevailed.

There was some concern about losing editorial credibility, etc. So, instead of this fake headline, we followed the traditions of the stoic, serious newspapers like the New York Times today and ran a court jester, complete with a polka dot flag and a Groucho Marx mask to make sure we stayed in the lines of responsible journalism.

Hmmmm.

I had actually lobbied for that headline and a fake, April 1 story for several years, but April Fools’ Day seems to fall during spring break and I have been conveniently out of town the past few opportunities.

Nobody wanted to run something that might elicit phone calls if I wasn’t there to share the fun.

April Fools jokes can easily get out of hand. Even more odd, funny things sometimes just land on April 1.

Not so many years ago, a daily paper in San Diego ran tips to help readers conserve water.

One of the tips advised readers to put a brick in their toilet to lessen water usage.

On April 2, an irate reader called in to say that she had flooded her bathroom and hallway and that whoever wrote the advice was an idiot.

The next day, the columnist recounted the incident and added that the brick should be put in the tank and not the toilet bowl...

Drop me a line if you have any epic April Fools jokes. I went out looking on the Internet and found some oldies but goodies.

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ITALY: 1919

Venice woke one April 1 to find horse manure littering the streets, odd since the city of canals had few horses.

The British prankster Horace de Vere Cole, who was honeymooning in Venice, had transported a load of manure from the mainland the night before with the help of a gondolier and had then deposited small piles of it throughout the Piazza.

CHINA: 1993

Getting in on the liberal fun, state newspaper “The China Youth Daily” announced those with doctorate degrees were exempt from one-child limits. According to an article, doctorates’ children would reduce the need for foreign experts.

The next day, a Beijing newspaper ran an editorial stating that April Fools’ jokes “are an extremely bad influence.”

FRANCE: 1986

A newspaper, “The Parisien”, reports the Eiffel Tower will be deconstructed and rebuilt in the new Disney World opening in Paris.

GERMANY: 1915

In the midst of World War I, a French plane flew over the Germans and dropped what appeared to be a huge bomb.

Rightfully alarmed, the German soldiers fled. But instead of an explosion, there was a bounce. The Germans crept back to the load and discovered it was a football with a note that read, “April Fool!”

AUSTRALIA: 1975

A TV news program says Australia will convert to “metric time,” making 100 seconds to the minute, 100 minutes to the hour, and 20 hours to the day. Seconds would become millidays, minutes would become centidays, and hours would become decidays.

•••

There you have it, April Fools celebrations from around the world. Again, if you have an April Fools idea or have been a victim or a perpetrator in a hoax, drop me a line and I will share the information.

After all...there is only a year to get ready for the next April 1.

David Keyes is president of the United States and your shoes are untied.