Friends discover a family connection

SANDPOINT — Local couple Everett and Carol Wood have new cause for politeness when talking with strangers in day-to-day life.

After all, they could be related.

That was their experience with Nathelle and Gene Gross. Their simple friendship led to a dramatic discovery that now stands to repair a long-severed family tie across multiple generations.

“You hear about stories like this on TV or on the news,” Everett Wood said. “But you never think that it could happen to you.”

In June 2000, the Woods moved to Sandpoint and rented a home for a few years. Committed to spending their later years in the natural beauty of North Idaho, they began searching for the ideal home to purchase. When they found a home they liked, the Woods visited the assessor’s office to inquire.

That’s where they met Nethelle Gross.

“We weren’t computer smart at the time, and Nethelle helped us out,” Wood said. “She was so friendly and helpful that we struck up a friendship.”

In the next eight years, the Woods and Grosses saw a lot of each other. They spent many evenings together playing games, visiting restaurants and forming a fast friendship. When the Woods decided to celebrate Cinco de Mayo last May, they invited the Grosses to join them for a meal at the Hoot Owl Cafe.

During the course of the conversation that evening, Wood made an off-handed comment about his brother Daryl in California, who was married to a women named Judy. Nathelle gasped, her eyes wide.

Judy, it turns out, is Nathelle’s sister.

“We just sat there for a minute in complete amazement,” Nathelle Gross said. “We just couldn’t believe what was happening.”

Ever since Daryl Wood, a lifelong Air Force officer, died in October 2000, both couples had lost contact with the California family. According to Nethelle, that was primarily due to her sister. In her desire to maintain control over her four children, Judy shut out the rest of the family, Nathelle said.

“She refuses to talk to any of us,” Gross said. “In her effort to control her family, she built their life around lies about all of us.”

According to the two couples, their estranged relative considered her husband Daryl to be an individual of higher standing based on his position in the military. That sense of superiority kept her from establishing close connections to her family.

“In her eyes, we aren’t the same caliber of people,” Carol Woods said.

But that sentiment didn’t carry over to her children. Thus far, the Woods and Grosses have gotten in touch with three of their estranged nieces and nephews. Charles Wood, the oldest son, even managed to take a trip out to Idaho in December to reconnect with his uncle and aunt. The Grosses hadn’t seen him in 38 years.

“We had a very pleasant visit,” Wood said. “It was wonderful to reconnect with him.”

The families are planning a more expansive reunion for the summer at the Woods’ home, complete with a barbecue, games and plenty of long conversations. As they plan for the event, the two couples hope that it will help restore the years of missing family history. They hope that Judy will consider attending, but their expectations are muted.

“We would love to rebuild our relationship with her,” Gross said. “But I don’t think its going to happen just based on the way my sister is.”

As for the friends-turned-relatives, they’re simply content to enjoy their retirement in Sandpoint and Sagle — allowing, of course, for several impromptu family days out.

“We continue to remain friends, socialize and enjoy each other’s company,” Everett Wood said. “But learning that we were related did change things a little. It added something special to our friendship.”