Documentary explores men's lives

SANDPOINT — It’s never an easy thing to open yourself up to another person, let alone theaters full of people — but that’s exactly what several local men are doing.

The Sandpoint Men’s Group is the subject of “About Men,” a new documentary film set to be screened at the Panida Theater this Friday. After baring their hearts for the cameras, the group members knew they would be exposing their most vulnerable personal histories and struggles to a wide audience. According to member Chris Blair, that’s a nerve-wracking reality, but it’s a risk group members were willing to take in the interest of being open, honest and inclusive.

“We want to show the community who we are and share our big hearts,” Blair said.  

The movie project began when director Maja Bugge, a Danish filmmaker with a master’s degree in media studies and a undergraduate degree in gender studies, began seeking men’s groups willing to open up for the camera. This process proved difficult as group after group in New York City turned her down. Bugge turned to Owen Marcus, a local writer and Sandpoint Men’s Group leader, for help, and after securing permission from the rest of the group, he gave her the OK.

“He brought it to us first and asked if this was something we’d be comfortable with,” Blair said.

The group decision wasn’t made without trepidation. The Sandpoint Men’s Group is designed to provide a support system for local men, but it’s also meant to challenge its members toward improvement. Members ask themselves what it means to be a man in a society which often discourages them from dealing honestly with their emotions. As such, they routinely cover very personal and heavy topics during their meetings. The process is extremely healthy and liberating, Blair said, and it’s improved both his friendships, his family relationships and his marriage.

“Thanks to the group, I don’t need to lean on my wife as my only source of emotional support,” Blair said.

However, the Sandpoint Men’s Group is also an inherently trust-based organization. Consequently, members knew that some of their rawest personal struggles and history were going to play out for a general audience on the screen.

As it turned out, the filming process was relatively inconspicuous, Blair said. It got to the point where Bugge melted into the background, becoming a fly on the wall as group members continued their meetings as usual. Eventually, Bugge found her narrative focus by highlighting four group members, one of them being Blair.

For Blair, the film project was a challenging but rewarding process. Many of the issues tackled in the film, for instance, involve his relationship with his father. The struggles expressed in “About Men” paved the way for a more open, honest dialogue with his father, and that’s an experience for which Blair is thankful.

“About Men” plays 7 p.m. this Friday, Jan. 31 at the Panida Theater. Tickets cost $7 individually or $12 for a couple. The event is primarily sponsored by Eichardt’s Pub, Evans Brothers and freetowin.co, and all proceeds will go to a scholarship fund for an upcoming national men’s workshop. Sandpoint Men’s Group thanks event sponsors for their support.