Woman's brush with death reinvigorates life

SANDPOINT — The eyes are bright robins egg blue, piercing and quietly kind at the same time.

For most of this year, they seemed to be even more intense, peering out from a pretty face with no eyebrows or eyelashes. And on those days when Tammy Davis chose to forego her bandana and go out with her bald head uncovered, the effect of those eyes was even more pronounced.

For months and months, this was the face of cancer. Today, it is the face of recovery. With eyebrows and lashes grown back and with a head of now curly hair starting to sprout, Davis is just emerging from the darkest chapters of her battle with breast cancer. She is moving slowly only four weeks post-op from a double mastectomy and reconstructive breast surgery but she is up and around and out and about.

Best of all, the easy sense of humor she was known for remains intact.

In a way, this was kind of a blessing I didnt have to shave my legs or my armpits the whole time, she said with a straight face before a wry smile lifted the corners of her mouth. But Id take shaving over cancer any day.

Davis was diagnosed with a rare form of breast cancer in January, after what she called a rollercoaster of different prognoses that ranged from benign to aggressive until she sat in a medical office and heard the words, Grade 3, Stage 2, HER2-positive breast cancer.

I didnt hear anything they said after that, she shared. I was in a daze.

Like so many before her and others who will follow, Davis world was upended in an instant. Disoriented and afraid, she was not yet prepared to take up the fight.

For so long, when you heard the word cancer, it was a death sentence, she said. You just dont know what to expect, so you think the worst.

No such a bad starting point, she now believes, since any small victory after that point becomes a very big deal. Her journey included five rounds of chemotherapy one round every three weeks a pair of blood transfusions to balance out her blood count and the eventual decision to bypass radiation and go straight to the removal of both breasts.

There was no question for me, Davis said of the surgery that took place on Sept. 14, after her chemo was complete. I told them, I dont want to go through this again.

The this she didnt want to face a second time included more than just the rigors of cancer treatment. It also was the looming question mark that cast a shadow over her very existence and whipsawed her emotions for the better part of a year.

Which was harder, she was asked the physical battle or the emotional one?

Id almost say the emotional, Davis responded. You can take medication for the physical.

Davis wasted no time after she discovered a lump about the size of a golf ball in her right breast. That was on a Sunday morning. She called her doctor first thing the following day and was in for a mammogram as quickly as possible.

My grandmother and her sister both had breast cancer, she said. I wasnt messing around.

Davis responded favorably to the cancer drug Herceptin, at least in the way it reduced the size of the lump in her breast. When she had completed the first two rounds of chemo without any ill effects, she started to think her fight might be easier than first anticipated. What she didnt take into account was the cumulative nature of chemotherapy.

I thought, Im good Im young, Im strong, she said. But after the third round, I started getting pretty sick and then it just knocked me down.

Even from that difficult place, Davis could see the devastation all around her. Her kids were afraid of losing their mom. Her fianc and her parents experienced their own fears. The mounting medical costs, calls for payment of those bills and the expense of twice-weekly trips to Spokane for treatment did nothing to help matters.

Apart from the institutional side, running on a separate track, David discovered a network of community love and support. Fundraisers helped her to cover some of the early co-pays. Local organizations such as Community Cancer Services and Celebrate Life stepped in to assist with gas vouchers, grocery money and much-needed counseling services.

It was that kind of help, in concert with successful treatment and the welcome stages of healing, that carried her forward.

One of her lowest moments came 10 days after surgery, when Davis was able to take a shower.

It was the first time I saw myself without all the bandages and I just broke down, she said. There was someone who wasnt me looking back at me in the mirror.

With characteristic humor on display, she quickly added that the surgery, which involved taking tissue from her abdomen to create new breasts, had its benefits.

Basically, youre getting a tummy tuck and breast reconstruction at the same time, said Davis.

The medical bills are still piling up and the slow process of healing is still underway. But, somehow, Davis has emerged a stronger person. Part of that might be because doctors have pronounced her cancer-free, though she will be required to stay on medication through early 2016. A larger factor, though, is the gift of re-engaging life on new terms.

I had always been a take-charge kind of person, she said. Now I stop and smell the roses. Im learning not to make such a big deal out of little things and Im trying to teach my kids that.

Davis has also learned how to let go a difficult lesson when it came to losing friends due to her cancer battle. It happens, she explained. Some people turn away when they see you coming with a bald head, no eyebrows or lashes. Cancer makes you invisible.

Its too hard for them, she said.

But there are the others, the ones who come near and stay there. The ones whose only intention is to walk alongside, even as they realize fighting cancer is a lonely battle. Davis had a word of advice for those strong enough not to walk away.

Just be there for them, she said. Be there. Dont tell them, Call me if you need me, because they wont.

Yes, do bring food and do offer to drive to treatments or run errands all of those things can help. But the biggest thing is showing up when others have given up.

Its nice to have someone stop by and just know that they care, Davis said. If you do that, you will be a lifelong friend.

Addressing the topic of what comes next, those blues eyes become kind and intense and focused on the future. Davis plans to volunteer for both Community Cancer Services and Celebrate Life to hold out a hand to those who are gutting it out in their own fight. She likened the journey to climbing a very steep and rugged mountain.

I feel like Im on the top of that mountain, coming back down to being healthy again, she said.

Fully aware of cancers potential to reappear, this warrior refuses to be faced down by the possibility.

It will always be in the back of my mind, but I cant let that fear take over, said Davis. I cannot live in that fear. Im moving on with my life.