Kinderhaven is safe haven for youth in need

SANDPOINT — Bam! Bam! Bam! The thunderous knock on the door comes at all hours. Authorities are there to round up the scofflaws. A day or two later you read the notice in the newspaper. So-and-sos were arrested for possession of a controlled substance, or methamphetamines, or drug paraphernalia or shoplifting or burglary or all of the above or something worse.

But, it's the backstory that most of us never know about. It's the story about the children who are also picked up, often in the middle of the night, and taken to what adults may know is a safe haven, but the terrified children aren't so sure.

A sit-down with Kinderhaven's executive director, Jennifer Plummer revealed extraordinary stories about the children that come to Sandpoint's unique group foster home which is truly a jewel in our rural community.

As April is Child Abuse Prevention Awareness Month, Kinderhaven staff and board are trying to get the word out about these neglected and abused children who are the vulnerable victims who, without intervention, are at risk of becoming adults who neglect and abuse their own kids.

One of the stories Plummer told was the story of a young brother and sister who came to Kinderhaven in the middle of the night.

“The parents were hard-core drug users. The children were very neglected. It was a sad environment,” Plummer said. “These two children had major physical issues. They were malnourished, had skin infections, flea bites all over their bodies and were terribly frightened.”

The state doesn't want to keep families apart, so every opportunity is afforded to parents to reunite with their children. They are helped with rehabilitation. They are drug tested regularly. They slowly get visitation, at first supervised and then, if it is deemed appropriate, on their own. When there is sufficient proof that they're able to care for them, the children are returned home.

In this case, Plummer said, at first everything looked like it worked out as planned. But recidivism is common. While the parents made attempts at recovery, in the end they just weren't able to keep the children safe and the siblings were returned to Kinderhaven.

“We got the young girl a tutor,” Plummer said. “She was very bright, but never had any help and was well below grade level. The boy had limited speech capabilities, so we got him into speech therapy. They both came back under-nourished and the boy was a picky eater. We had to figure out what he would like. He also cried a lot, suffering greatly from separation anxiety.

“At Kinderhaven these children thrived. They were able to just be kids without anxieties; without worrying about what strange people might be around and what could happen to them,” Plummer said. “Kids know they're loved here and they're safe.”

Working with their state caseworker and CASA volunteer, the court terminated the mother and father's parental rights, and they both were adopted into a loving family. Now, these kids like to return to Kinderhaven for a visit and talk about how the boy has graduated out of speech therapy and the girl is excelling in school.

The routine at Kinderhaven is structured, but nurturing. They have the same staff member put the kids to bed and wake them up in the morning. If they have a nightmare that staff member is there to console them.

The staff knows about their appetites, their bedtime rituals and their schoolwork. They sit at a dinner table with the adults, often for the first time in their lives. And, they have chores to do after dinner.

“We're just like a family,” Plummer said, “a unique family, but still a family.” She credits her staff and their regular staff meetings for creating this environment, but is quick to say that it's not all fairies and unicorns.

“It's not always easy for staff. The children that come here are often angry, confused, lack trust and sometimes have acting-out behaviors. Sometimes we go through a honeymoon period when they first arrive, and then the 'let me test you people' attitude comes out,” Plummer said. “But we always stay supportive.”

Kinderhaven's website states, “In Idaho during 2013, there were 1,674 children who were victims of substantiated cases of abuse and neglect. This is a rate of 3.9 per 1,000 children. The number of child victims in Idaho had increased 6.6% in comparison to the number of victims in 2009.”

And, of course that doesn't count the cases that weren't reported. Plummer encourages family members, teachers, counselors and neighbors to be aware of the signs of abuse. Look for marks or bruises on the child, look for a child who appears fearful when the parents are around or doesn't want to go home.

Abused and neglected children may be dirty, smell like they haven't bathed or showered, they may be hungry. Look for changes in behavior that may indicate something isn't right at home, like suddenly falling behind in schoolwork and/or not being interested in activities or sports that they were previously.

If you suspect abuse, call the Idaho Care Line at 1-800-929-2588. If you would like to help Kinderhaven financially or as a volunteer go to their website www.kinderhavensandpoint.com, mail your donation to Kinderhaven, P.O. Box 2097, Sandpoint 83864 or call 265-2236.