Killing me with kale and healthy salads

Election this, election that, bogus websites, sign stealing, lack of diplomacy, and an overall poor list of candidates for president … we need something else to focus on.

So, when was the last time you had kale in any form? Haven't you been watching truthbook, I mean Facebook? Everything on there is the gospel, you know. Well if you've been hiding under a rock, you may not know that kale is considered a super food. Heck, according to some websites its the end-all super food, the pride of vegans everywhere; sure to provide enough minerals for a longer life, more brain activity and super-human strength. If kale were around when Popeye was thriving, he would have been eating cans of kale instead of spinach. Spinach is so passé.

My wife has spent the last 35 years doing everything she can to not cash in my life insurance policy. Part of that routine is to regularly feed me things that are healthy for me including … you guessed it, kale.

Prior to our recent kale binge, she reminds me not to drink too much beer, cut down on the popcorn, stay out of the cinnamon gummy bears and to drink more water. Without her I'm sure an elevator would be required in the Daily Bee building. Thank God for spouses who don't want to cash insurance policies.

I have to step back to a surgery I had in 2008, to replace an aortic valve due to a birth defect. It was a bicuspid valve when they are supposed to be tricuspid. Thus, it leaked a bit too much. Having a strong desire to continue testing the beer that I brew at home, I didn't want to go on blood thinners so I opted for a pig valve. The only side effect has been the tearing of an eye when I cook bacon.

The new valve requires me to take a few different pills to slow my heart down and to lower my blood pressure. All things going good, it should last around 20 years but there really is no warranty. (Les Schwab should make heart valves).

So, back to the kale. It's been on the menu three times this week, for dinner. Around Wednesday, I start having heart palpitations or PVCs (premature ventricular contractions). Most people have them at some point. You will feel a hesitation and then a big beat that makes you jump. If you're like me, you analyze changes in diet, routine, etc. when something weird begins to happen to your body. Guess what changed … kale. After doing some Google investigating I found out that kale is high in Vitamin K which can have an effect on the effectiveness of certain medications. I'm no doctor but it didn't take long to blurt out to my wife she was trying to kill me with kale. I then reminded her that one of our two labs was mine (Coulee) and Coulee would become extremely depressed if I wasn't around. (Not really the case; Coulee reacts to treats from anyone.) I then demanded no more kale and that steak and potatoes should be the norm on the McKiernan table. Of course, this is wishful thinking since she will find another salad to replace the kale. After all, it's not about the salad, it's about the type of Litehouse dressing on the salad.

So the next time your spouse puts a kale salad on the dinner table, check the beneficiaries on your insurance policy.

I add this column in jest, during a time when we are trying to figure out why politics is so out of control. Political candidates would rather hear themselves talk then here the cries of concern from their constituents. Our only recourse is to vote. Don't let the political process pass you by. You can't complain if you aren't willing to get involved.

Jim McKiernan is publisher of the Daily Bee. He can be reached at jmckiernan@bonnercountydailybee.com.