Two words: Don't wait
A young father gives up chain-smoking when his first child is born. Don’t wait. An unexpected friendship happens between two men when one man’s grandson murders the other man’s son. Don’t wait. A marriage crisis results either in divorce or re-commitment. Don’t wait.Sometimes there are life-changing moments that result in life-changing relationships. Each of us have been witnesses or participants in such moments. How have you responded to your moments?
Last week, I listened to some married friends share how his critical health crisis has changed how they embrace their life together. Her terse comment to those of us who listened to the story again?
Don’t wait to reach out to each other with words of affection and love. Don’t wait to share the joy of life with others that you have newly realized. Don’t wait to own your new compassion, or your old grief.
I’ve not kept track of the persons and families who have told me some variation of “Oh, I wish I had told..., but it’s too late.” Or “Why didn’t I tell her how much she/he means to me at that moment.” But the list would be very long. My own omissions would be on that list as well.
Next Tuesday, I invite you to meet a person who chose to not wait. At least that’s how I read her beautifully written story called “Looking Back From the Gate: A Story of Love, Art and Dementia.” Earlier this summer, I wrote a Dear Geezer column about Phyllis Chinlund’s story
She will be our guest presenter at the first Geezer Forum of the Fall. She lives in Maine, but will be visiting her cousin, Kathe Murphy, in Sandpoint next week. And she will also share 90 minutes with us. We will meet next Tuesday, Sept. 13, 2:30-4 p.m. at Columbia Bank’s Community Room (next to the Tango Cafe).
She will read selections from her book that introduces the love that she and her husband, Ray, experienced in the years he lived with and died with Alzheimer’s Disease. Her book takes the basic form of a many-years journal. It reveals an honesty born of love yet tested by disease.
She hopes her sharing will generate both questions and stories of our own.
This Geezer Forum will begin what I expect to be a stimulating fall and early winter of forum topics and conversations. Allow me to quickly remind you that the first meaning (14 c.) of “conversation” had to do with “living together.”
Paul R. Graves, M.Div., is Lead Geezer-in-Training of Elder Advocates, an consulting ministry on aging issues. He can be reached at 208-610-4971 or elderadvocates@nctv.com.