Sometimes, caregivers need a loving boost
One day last week, I met a caregiver in the locker room at the health club where I exercise. I knew who he was because on an earlier day, his sister mentioned he was helping their mom care for their dad. So he was at the club, as was his dad.
He had returned to Sandpoint to help his mother, in part by giving her some respite from the 24/7 caring of her husband who has dementia. At least he is able, with some supervision, to get some regular exercise. A good many people needing care are not as mobile as he is.
I don’t have firm statistics to back up my two assumptions, but here they are:
1. The need for family caregivers in Bonner County has noticeably increased in the last 10 years, due in part to the reality of everyone living longer.
2. Very few family caregivers ever signed up for their caregiving work. So they didn’t even know what skills they needed for this important giving time in their lives. Subsequently, they didn’t think to sign up for a “caregiving skills” class -- though I’m sure they wanted to!
Well, actually, there are very few regularly scheduled “caregiving skills” classes available for family members. They are few and far between. But there happens to be one scheduled in September in Sandpoint!
It’s called Powerful Tools for Caregivers. The six-week class is
sponsored by the Alzheimer’s Association office in Coeur d’Alene. It’s on Thursdays, Sept. 14 to Oct. 19. Time is 2:30-5 p.m. in the conference room of Bonner General Health (main hospital building). There is no charge for the classes!
Though it is sponsored by Alzheimer’s Association, I know they are eager to support all “non-paid caregivers”. Their flyer affirms that “Learning how to take care of yourself makes you a healthier caregiver.”
During the six weeks together, class members will explore tools to:
1. Reduce personal stress;
2. change negative self-talk;
3. Com-municate their needs to family members and healthcare/service providers;
4. Com-municate more effectively in challenging situations;
5. Recognize the messages in their emotions, and deal with difficult feelings; and
6. Make tough caregiving decisions. Class participants will also receive a copy of “The Caregiver Helpbook”, developed specifically for this class.
If you read thought those six tools, and think the class is a lot about communication, you’re right! Self-talk and communicating with your loved one is so much of what makes up the basic challenges of caregiving!
Allow me to add that “Amateurs Make the Best Caregivers.”
The word amateur comes from a French word that means “for the love of …” In other words, caregivers do what they do for the love of the person they care for. That doesn’t mean the relationship is also easy; because it isn’t.
That loving attitude isn’t always communicated well, or sometimes at all. But if it underlies and supports your reason to giving care, you are so much more effective for your loved one — and for yourself.
If you are interested in learning more about the class Powerful Tools for Caregivers, I strongly encourage you to contact P.J. Christo in Coeur d’Alene at 1-208- 666-2996. She will tell you what you need to know about the class. I hope you will decide to register, too!
Paul R. Graves, M.Div., is lead geezer-in-training for Elder Advocates. You can contact Paul at elderadvocates@nctv.com or 208-610-4971.