DWO - 'Driving While Old' ... what?

There is strong evidence that older adults really don’t want to be told by police officers that they (the older adults) can no longer drive!

So maybe local law enforcement could develop a “ticket” to hang along the handicap sign on the car mirror. The ticket simply says “DWO — Driving While Old.”

Would you hang that on your car rear-view mirror? Nah, I didn’t think so! Neither would I.

I know you don’t want to have that “time to turn in your car keys” conversation with a police officer after he’s stopped you for a fender-bender. So who are you willing to have that conversation with, DWO friends? Personally, I plan to have that visit with my wife, then my son.

But it’s a toughie, isn’t it. My own mom hadn’t driven for many years before she died, so we skipped that moment of great discomfort. But my dad? He drove until the day before he died. After his death, a close friend who had ridden with him recently told me why he shouldn’t have driven.

Dad and I had numerous, short conversations about when it was time to “give up the car keys”. All he kept saying was, “I’ll know when, Paul. I’ll know when.” Maybe he knew that time, inside. But he didn’t share it with me, or act on it himself. He, and other drivers, were lucky on the road!

I share this little story to let you know that, as a son, I’ve been on the pleading end of this big conversation. Now it’s getting closer to the time when I need to have this conversation with my wife and my son. I still drive well, but I’m also aware of times when my driving confidence is lower.

How is this transition going for you? As an adult child? As the DWO guy with the car keys tightly clutched in your hand? Here is a sobering factoid worth considering: A man driver will outlive his driving abilities by six (6) years. A woman driver by ten (10) years.

If you are ready to even mildly consider this conversation as a driver or a family member who is increasingly reluctant to ride with your parent, consider attending next Tuesday’s Geezer Forum. September 26, 2:30-4 p.m. in the Columbia Bank’s Community Room.

Together, in a safe environment, we’ll explore “Dad, Can We Talk About Your Car Keys? (Alternatives to Driving).”

Oh, it isn’t “time” to talk about such things? Actually, it’s a great time to discuss these matters, because when it’s “time”, no one will be thinking clearly, only fearfully!

Way back in August, a month ago, I was certified by AARP to offer their helpful national program “We Need to Talk”. It is subtitled “Family Conversations with Older Drivers”. And that is what the Geezer Forum effort will encourage.

The intent of our discussion is not so much to talk about taking away the keys, but about maintaining mobility and independence. Believe it or not, a car or truck aren’t always necessary to maintain mobility and independence. I know some will argue that viewpoint.

But there are other viewpoints from which to see life and your place in that life. So they may come up in our Geezer Forum conversations next Tuesday, 2:30-4 p.m., at the Community Room. DWOs are most welcome!

Paul Graves, M.Div., is Lead Geezer-in-Training for Elder Advocates. Reach him at 208-610-4971 or elderadvocates@nctv.com.