Facebook message ends in a family reunion

SANDPOINT — During the 1960s in El Monte, Calif., a father and son basically grew up together only a few blocks apart and never knew each other … until just recently.

Back then when longtime Sandpoint resident, Sid Rayfield, was 16 years old, the editor of the high school newspaper spotted his car, a dark green 1955 Thunderbird, and offered to write a story about it. It was a popular car and the first car he ever owned.

“The article was short and sweet,” Sid said. “She and I ended up going out on a date, and then I never really heard from her again. And now that I think back, I don’t remember seeing her too much after that either.”

Growing up in El Monte was a kid’s dream at that time — going to the beach, racing home to see the show called “9th Street West, cars, cruising the boulevard.

“That was certainly my ‘summer of love,’” he said.

Fast forward 50 years, Sid gets a friend request on Facebook, but ignores it.

“We all get those friend requests, don’t we?” he said.

When, after more than a month, Michael Mergell, who lives in Indiana, didn’t get an acceptance of the friend request, he pursued his quest a little differently. After delving deeper into the information given by Ancestry.com the name “Sunshine” appeared on his computer screen.

“That name jumped out at me,” Michael said. “It seemed like a name that someone living in the ’60s might have been given to a daughter.”

More research provided Michael with contact information for Sunshine Seibert and so he messaged her.

“I wasn’t really friendly at first,” Sunshine said. “I didn’t know him, and thought how does my dad know someone from Indiana? But Michael seemed good-natured, so I continued messaging.”

They communicated for hours that night and Michael sent Sunshine three screenshots of the Ancestry.com information. It showed that a Sidney Rayfield, with 98.9 percent accuracy, was the father of Michael Mergell.

“It was 11 o’clock our time so 2 o’clock his time, and I thought this was all so crazy,” Sunshine said. “Is it really possible? Do I have a brother? Does my father have a son?”

“Sunshine and I were trying to figure it all out,” Michael said. “To make sure that we weren’t fooling ourselves with the information we had.”

The next day, Sunshine reached out to her father. She sent him the three screenshots that Michael had sent to her with the results showing that her father was also Michael’s father. Sunshine told her father that he should reach out to Michael, and 20 minutes later Sid and Michael were talking on the phone.

“All I can say is that I was elated,” Sid said. “How could this be? I was elated, but confused. I didn’t deny it at all. I was just surprised. Elated is the best word to describe how I felt.”

Michael said, “I knew it was real when I was talking to Sidney. It was like I was hearing myself on the other end of the phone. We sounded so much alike.”

There were numerous communications with the newfound family members since that phone call, and there were plans to meet in the fall. But fast forward another couple of months when Sid and his wife, Diane, were on a road trip moving through Texas. Michael’s wife, Natalie, noticed on Facebook that Sid and Diane were on the road and in Texas at the time. Michael called them and invited them to head north to Indiana to meet his family. The timing at this point presented itself perfectly.

“I told Michael I was retired and wasn’t on a time schedule,” Sid said. “So Diane and I drove to Indiana and I met my son for the first time.”

During their four-day stay, needless to say there was much to talk about. Michael pulled out the paperwork that he accumulated from his research. It showed that his biological mother had put him up for adoption.

“Michael really loved his adoptive parents,” Sid said. “He was very close to them. It’s crazy that he, his parents and I all lived so close to each other for so long, but didn’t even know each other.”

The men talked about their backgrounds and found out that they both love to sail, and both sailed to Catalina Island often. Both men enjoyed running and participating in running competitions. Their voices, mannerisms, interests all interestingly similar.

“It was an odd series of events for sure when we started comparing our backgrounds,” Sid said.

More recently, Jill Eberly, Sid’s youngest daughter, invited Michael to the “Spokane to Sandpoint Relay,” an annual 200.2-mile race that she, Sunshine and Sid had participated in for years. Michael enthusiastically accepted the invitation and flew to Spokane, meeting his two sisters for the first time.

Michael flew in Thursday and Sid picked him up. They had lunch in Coeur d’Alene and did some bike riding in and around Sandpoint. That evening Sunshine and Jill met their brother for the first time, at the home of Sid and Diane, the night before the race.

“It was funny,” Sunshine said. “We met and I was in the kitchen talking to Diane, Michael came down the stairs and I went to extend my hand and Michael said, ‘My wife told me to go in for the hug.’ We talked about how this was all a little crazy. It was a sense of relief to me to meet Michael, finally.”

“I was so nervous and excited at the same time,” Jill said. “He’s super friendly and a very kind soul. I didn’t know he was going to be so cool. An easily lovable guy.”

The relay began at 9 o’clock Friday morning, and the newfound siblings were part of a 12-man team. Someone was always running and each runner had three-legs to complete, and those who weren’t running their legs were traveling by car as support.

“Michael didn’t sleep the entire time — the entire 30 hours,” Sunshine said. “We rented a van and he was more than happy to drive it in an area he didn’t even know, and he made sure that everything was taken care of.”

Five months previously, Michael was in training for an upcoming Olympic triathalon. He felt solid about the race and well-trained. When he started the last leg of the event, he felt a bit “off” but still began a full out sprint toward the finish line. About 100 feet from the finish, he felt faint. He collapsed. His wife ran over and began CPR, the ambulance arrived.

“When I woke up there was lots of commotion,” he said. “I had gone into cardiac arrest.”

Michael said that he might have been in denial but he wanted to finish the race, left the ambulance and walked over the finish line with his EKG and AED paddles still attached. Although Michael’s doctor told him he could return to racing in three to six months his wife, Natalie, still monitors him with an electronic device.

“Then he comes and does this race with us,” Sunshine said. “He’s a great team member. We all met at a really great point in our lives. It’s really cool,”

“Literally, I could not have picked a better brother,” Jill said.

“It was amazing,” Michael said. “It was not only amazing being with my sisters, but the team really came together and it was a fantastic experience. This was an incredible year for me. Not only do I have a dad and my sisters, but I have that aspect of my life that was missing.”

The entire family plan to come together this Thanksgiving, including Michael, Natalie and their son, Sid and Diane, Jill and her family, Sunshine and her husband, Darin, who live in Lewiston, Sid’s third daughter, Dawn and her family who live in Seattle, and possibly other family members.