Social distancing is not social isolation

Are you six feet away from me when you’re reading this? That seems to be the magic distance that hopefully keeps us safe from breathing in droplets from someone else’s sneeze or cough. Cashiers at Safeway now have Plexiglas barriers between them and customers (just in case).

We have no way of knowing just how cautious we should be when out and about. Nor is it crystal clear how cautious we should be within our own home environment. Do I let a family member in? How about a friend? Should I wear a mask? Should I have bottles of hand sanitizer sitting around (even if I can’t find them at the store)? The many questions of over-caution about staying socially distant can almost paralyze any rational decision-making, can’t they? I’ve heard some medical experts help make one clarification that seems important (to me anyway). They say “social distancing” is actually “physical distancing”.

It has everything to do with our physical proximity to each other. It is not about our social connections, our relationships! Admittedly, those important relationships have been impacted by the health crisis, even in this area where cautions can seem disproportionate to reality.

Saying that, I would rather us err on the side of over-caution than thumb our collective noses at common sense for the health of everyone around us. Distancing is important – unless it leads to people feeling isolated from each other.

I’m pleased to see reports in our news media and hear in conversations that we are being encouraged to keep in contact with our friends and families in whatever ways keep us safe. The key part of that is “KEEP IN CONTACT”. Especially with those persons whose health conditions and – yes – age make them most vulnerable, most at-risk to catch this virus?

A phone call, a note and/or thoughtful item left at a front door, an email greeting or phone text – anything to remind a person he or she is being remembered. That’s worth far more than the effort made!

Likewise, if you are feeling socially isolated, stick your ego in the freezer or under your bed, anywhere that prevents it from you reaching out to a friend or family member. You may do it out of genuine curiosity – “How are you today? I was wondering how you are.”

You may do it out of your simple need to hear another human voice. This is not a time to withdraw! It is a time to connect, even re-connect, with people who are important to you. If you have any fear of COVID-19, let it infect your ego, not your body or spirit! Reach out to someone. Be ready to be reach by someone else.

By the way – I have officially cancelled all Geezer Forums for the rest of the spring. We intend to gather again in the fall, beginning on September 8. In the meantime, to all who have participated in a Geezer Forum, and anyone else who may not have, please remember this: Please don’t let physical distancing from others become social isolation for you!

Paul R. Graves, M.Div, is Lead Geezer-in-Training for Elder Advocates, a consulting ministry on aging issues. Contact Paul at 208-610-4971 or elderadvocates@nctv.com.