Why is it important that … ?

Being in our mid-to-late 70s, my wife and I are in the designated high-risk group where COVID-19 is concerned. We have no pre-existing conditions, so that’s good. Still, we’re careful about wearing masks when in public. Not just for ourselves, but to protect those around us.


Today’s column is about mask-wearing — or more accurately, not wearing masks. I’m reminded of a brief incident that happened to us in the Home Depot parking lot. As we walked toward the store, fully masked, a lady in a nearby pickup yelled out: “Take off your masks!” Then she drove away.

In recent months, I have found it occasionally helpful to begin a difficult conversation with this invitational question: “Why is it important that …?” The question is meant to encourage my listener to reflect on, not react to, whatever the disagreement is about. So, let me try an imagined dialogue with that lady in the pickup.


Me: Why is it important that you don’t want me to wear a mask?

Her: Because it’s a waste of time.

Me: Why is it important for you to think it’s a waste of time?

Her: Masks are an infringement on my right to breathe free.

Me: Why is it important for you to think my wearing a mask infringes on your right to breathe?

Her: COVID isn’t real anyway. It’s the same thing as the flu

Me: With the staggering increase of COVID cases and deaths in the nation and in Idaho, why is it important for you to deny the reality of this pandemic?

Her: No comment. End of imagined dialogue!

One hope I have by using this question in real dialogues is this: I want to gently get persons to stop giving me only talking points, and begin offering me thinking points. Yes, I’m one of those persons who believes in logic, common sense, common respect, and common courtesy.


We’ll never have any healthy conversation with those who disagree with us about masks, social distancing, (or even if COVID-19 is real), without using logic, common sense, common respect and common courtesy.


Maybe this question is one way of unmasking the controversies over masking. A toxic reaction from me to someone’s toxic attitude or action will only escalate an unnecessary confrontation. So, why is it important that I let my emotional buttons get pushed, and I react in kind to a foolish comment, or a crude gesture? I have to ask that of myself way too often!


“Why do you think it’s important that…?” can be a way for us to think through our feelings. It can help us balance those feelings with facts about COVID-19 as it exists in north Idaho, in our country, in the world.


Speaking of facts about COVID-19, I’m pleased that a COVID vaccine is coming to our area, maybe as early as this week! I have been in contact with Sheryl Rickard, CEO of Bonner General Health, about the vaccine. She is eager to get factual information about the vaccine distribution out to the public! 
So, it looks like Geezer Forum will host a Zoom meeting either on January 12 or 26 about the COVID Vaccine as it comes to Bonner County. I’ll keep us posted about that upcoming meeting!

Paul Graves, M.Div., is lead geezer-in-training for Elder Advocates, a consulting ministry on aging issues. Contact Paul at 208-610-4971 or elderadvocates@nctv.com.