Choose your hard

Most of us will agree that man has been to the moon. If you do not agree, you may as well stop reading now. For the rest of us, follow along as we laugh and learn about Parkinson’s disease. What? Parkinson’s has nothing to do with lunar landings… Or does it?

I was a child of the 50’s and 60’s. I could name every one of the Mercury 7 (first astronauts slated for spaceflight) and watched every launch I could on a round eleven inch TV screen in black and white. Like most Americans, I was devastated when the Russian, Yuri Gagarin, became the first man in space. Alan Shepard was, I believe, the bravest of the astronauts. Why? He was the first American in space while riding atop a Redstone rocket in a capsule named Freedom 7. Most people forget that out of the thirty-seven Redstone test flights, seventeen had malfunctions—including blowing up on the launch pad. Shepard is credited with saying something about riding a rocket with thousands of parts—all made by the lowest bidder! A few years later, Apollo 11 landed on the moon with Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin. Michael Collins watched from above as he circled the moon in Columbia, the command module.

Who figured out how to make space travel possible? A huge contribution was made by the human computers—mostly women as portrayed in the movie Hidden Figures. And what branch of mathematics allowed them to solve the equations and calculations required to plan the astronaut’s journeys? Along with spherical trigonometry (is that real or did I make that up?), the answer is CALCULUS.

(If you have read this far, keep going; at some point, I will get to Parkinson’s. I promise.) So, where did calculus come from? It turns out that Sir Isaac Newton was eating an apple that had dropped from a tree on the Cambridge University campus in the middle of the plague—1660’s. It is unknown if he was wearing a mask at the time. While pondering the rate of fall, the effects of gravity, lunar orbits, how twinkies are made and whether the Beatles are better than the Stones, he came up with an idea. This idea morphed into calculus (the mathematics of derivatives and integrals—whatever they are). Unfortunately, since there was no Twitter or Facebook, his invention was not widely shared. Then, a few years later, a guy named Gottfried Leibniz independently invented calculus. Ultimately, there was a duel to decide who should get the credit. It was exciting to watch them hurl numbers, formulas, and equations at each other. Finally, one of them got stuck in a recursive time loop and the battle ended in a draw with both getting credit.

So, if Newton co-invented calculus during the plague, what are you doing during our modern plague, Covid-19? Have you learned to play the piano, built a plane in the garage, become a chef, mastered tai chi, or invented a new branch of mathematics? Do not feel guilty or inadequate if you have not. I think you need not do any of those things (although it would be cool). I believe you are already doing the hard stuff. Simply living life is hard. Making decisions is hard. Making choices is hard.

(Here comes the Parkinson’s part. Finally.) My regular readers know that Parkinson’s is chronic (it is not going away) and progressive (it is going to get worse). It is the second most common neurological disease—affecting about a million people in the US. It includes movement symptoms and non-motor issues. My most obvious symptom is tremor. I cannot control the tremor in my left hand, wrist, and arm. The most common Parkinson’s drugs seem to have no effect. As a result, my doctor suggested an old drug (trihexyphenidyl) that quickly made the shaking a thing of the past. Hooray! Not so fast. Along with the minor side effect of dry mouth and eyes, it causes MCI. What is that? It is an acronym for a nasty little present: mild cognitive impairment. In my case it caused memory loss, word and name recall problems, and interfered with sequencing of thought and speech. In other words, I could not tell a story with a beginning, middle, and end. If I saw you on the street, I would recognize you but probably could not come up with your name. After less than a year, I chose to stop the drug. Tremors are hard. MCI is hard. I chose my hard.

There is a meme circulating on the internet about choosing your hard. Here are some more examples: Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard. Being overweight is hard. Losing weight is hard. Choose your hard. Change is hard. Not changing is hard. Choose your hard. Being in debt is hard. Being financially disciplined is hard. Choose your hard. You get the idea. Now come up with one of your own.

Without intending to be political, I will conclude with one of my own. Wearing a mask is hard. Killing your grandparents at a family gathering is hard. Choose your hard.