New Year’s and grief?

New Year’s is not the time we normally think about grief.

For many, New Year’s is a time of celebration. It’s a time of celebrating a brand-new year and all the hope it represents for new beginnings, positive changes, and a better future.

But New Year’s is also a time to reflect and remember. It’s a time to look back on the past year and review both the highs and the lows, the things that went well and the things that didn’t, the joyful gains and the painful losses of our lives.

Grief is the emotion of loss. We normally think of grief as being associated with the death of a loved one, but grief is associated with any significant loss. It includes such things as the loss of a job, position, or income; the loss of health or physical ability; when the kids leave home; the loss of a pet; and major changes in life such as divorce, moving, or retiring.

Sometimes I hear Christians say that we shouldn’t experience grief or that our experience of it should be very minimal; that somehow our faith in Christ makes us immune to or substantially less likely to experience grief. However, that is not what the Bible reveals.

Jesus wept when Mary’s brother Lazarus, who He loved, died (John 11: 5, 35-36). In fact, Jesus experienced grief because He was intimately familiar with suffering:

Isaiah 53:3 (ESV) - He was … a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief …

If Jesus was not immune to grief; what makes us think we will be? We are made in His image (Genesis 1:26). We have emotions because He has emotions. We experience grief because He experienced grief.

Painful losses need to be grieved. If they are not, we end up carrying the pain and it can have significant negative mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, and social impacts on us and others. Once those losses have been processed, we can embrace the hope of a better future. For Christians, that hope is one rooted in the promise of a joy-filled, grief-less eternity with God:

1 Thessalonians 4:13 (NIV) … you do not grieve like the rest of mankind …

Revelation 21:4 (NIV) … There will be no more death, mourning, sorrow, or pain …

So, as we enter the new year, take time to remember and celebrate. Take time to grieve the painful losses and afterwards to embrace the hope of a better future.

Jim Kubiak serves as a pastor-at-large in Bonner County. He can be reached at JimKubiak7@gmail.com.