A New Year's letter to God

I got outside today, finally. It felt really good to walk in you world. Indoors I always feel I'm surrounded by man-made stuff. But outdoors I am in your creation — even when it's snowing nonstop, like now, it beckons me to spend time with you. In many ways I'm more myself out there with you.

You've brought me to 2022. I remember figuring out I'd be 48 when 2000 came around — and that seemed impossibly old. Always moving, that's life. I was thinking how you say to be still and and know that you are God. Even then there is stationary movement.

You say you seek those who want to know you — and that's just what I'm seeking. It's reassuring to me that we are both seekers. Seek is my word for 2022. I expect to seek out things in plain sight and things hidden.

I read in Proverbs on New Year's Day: “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.” I want to choose a joyful heart. I don't think they just happen. It takes a healthy dependence on you and all you supply. And a whole lot of wonder and gratitude.

You say you know what I need before I ask. That makes sense since you aren't bound by time — inhabiting past, present, and future. Well, I'm asking for courage. I absolutely don't have it on my own. And I need it to navigate the unknowns every new year brings.

Help me to not get stuck — which I'm good at. Stuck isn't the same as stubborn, I don't think. Stubborn is perfectly capable of making a shift — and just doesn't do it. But stuck is afraid to. It's just another reason I need a courage surge.

God, there is so much heartache in the world. Everybody's got some kind of hurt. Don't I wish you would take it all away. I know there is a day when the world will again be as you envisioned it. But it's not that way now. Discouragement stares me in the face some days.

That's when I hold close your words about not growing weary in well-doing. People need kindness and compassion. It's hard making it through life — even one lived with joy. I'm not much good to anybody when I'm down. I love that you are such an enthusiastic God. A God with zeal! What could bring more lift than your promise to “complete a good work in me.”

I'm leaving my Christmas lights up awhile. They're cheery on a dark winter morning. It's amazing to me reading in the scripture that You “cover yourself with light as with a cloak.” Imagine weaving light into a covering! It's a shining thought. One I'd like to try on every day.

I could keep writing. I love talking with you. You've invited me to “come and reason together” with you. Not some mindless worship, or foolish belief. But a real relationship. Lived out where you find me.

I plan on taking you up on that. It opens such possibility. I'm already feeling better and braver.