'We are safe now'

PRIEST RIVER — “We are safe now.”

The simple, yet profound, message was the title of a chalk art piece outside of the Priest River Ministry’s office. The little girl who drew it had arrived at the center with her mother that day, one of countless children helped throughout the group’s 20-year existence.

Rhonda Encinas, founder and director of Priest River Ministries, displays the picture of that little girl calmly drawing with chalk as if it were a badge of honor.

Encinas has earned recognition throughout Bonner County as a community advocate for domestic violence victims and survivors. While the vast majority of the individuals she sees are women or children, the organization has helped men fleeing violence situations in the past as well.

“Originally, it was a regular Bible study group,” Encinas said. However, a question in the booklet the group was working through got her thinking. The question was something along the lines of what topic did the student have trouble giving over to God. Half of the Bible study group answered the question by describing domestic violence.

The response led Encinas to split the class and start a group called Healing Hearts, where she and the class began to study how to heal from domestic violence. Ultimately, Encinas and her volunteers decided to launch a nonprofit to help other survivors of domestic violence in Bonner County.

“The women who come to us have spent so much time praying, but nothing has changed,” Encinas said. “As a faith-based organization, our job is to act like Jesus,” she said. While Priest River Ministries as a whole follows Jesus, who is frequently documented protecting women from domestic violence, they provide secular services on demand as well.

PRM focuses on providing the services to all that need them, but in recent years this has gotten more difficult. “We need more domestic violence shelters, but … we could open more shelters but we had to close some because we could not get the volunteers we need,” Encinas said.

Funding is always an issue. Encinas said the organization relies on divine providence for staff. The professionals who chose to work for PRM take a significant pay cut, which has gotten more difficult to do in recent years. Encinas calls it mission work.

“We don’t put ads up. We let faith, we all get together and pray that God will send someone in,” she said.

Encinas said the prayer has worked. She described hiring a woman with legal and therapeutic experience who wandered into the Priest River office looking for her runaway dog. She was hired the next day.

Despite the faith-based nature of PRM, Encinas said several faith leaders keep them at arm’s length. As advocates for survivors of domestic violence, Priest River Ministries assists victims as the victim asks — which sometimes goes counter to church orthodoxy. Divorce is the main issue that has made PRM run afoul of area churches. While they do not advocate for — or against — divorce, Encinas made it very clear that her organization will advocate for women no matter what and will even assist them in filing for divorce, if asked to do so.

However, that is only part of the picture. While not all pastors are on board with PRM, there are volunteers and donors to PRM within nearly every congregation. Encinas cited a few key examples of faith-based support.

Early during the pandemic, a group of Mormon women in Priest River got together and cooked meals for all of the people sheltered by PRM for three months, delivering the meals across the county. Encinas mentioned the Knights of Columbus, a Catholic men’s group from Spirit Lake, as providing essential and stabile financial support. More recently, Lake City Church had a work day at their Priest River facility, repainting all of the rooms and replacing the furniture.

Encinas is grateful for the community support PRM has received, but she knows their impact could be greater if they had better funding and more volunteers. Encinas is against government grants, because she fears that would allow the government to control how PRM operates.

In 2021, according to their website prmafw.org, Priest River Ministries sheltered 200 survivors of domestic violence last year, providing 1,750 nights of emergency shelter. They also provided clothing to almost 3,000 people in 2021 as well. According to Encinas, this July they helped their 14,000th person since beginning in 2002.

Encinas believes domestic violence is a problem that ultimately stems from entitlement, especially for men. In her mind, the antidote to this entitlement (in this case, to women’s bodies) is only treatable with humility. Encinas believes that domestic violence can be stemmed if more men actually took to heart the humility that it takes to be Christian, the realization that no one deserves anything other than eternal damnation.

Encinas took it back to childhood and gave an example of a boy pulling a girl's hair. Conventional wisdom would claim that is really okay, he is just doing that because he likes her. For Encinas, these seemingly innocent behaviors are opportunities to teach boys about humility as well as mutuality.

Entitlement, to sex or status, has blinded abusers to the golden rule — which is mutual respect, to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Encinas thinks abusers can, in fact, change — but only if they take these two concepts, humility and mutuality, to heart.

For those who want to help the only domestic violence shelter in Bonner County, prmafw.org/get-involved has options to donate digitally and to sign up to volunteer. There is also a running list of items the shelter needs, including clothes, cleaning items, non-perishable food stuffs, and children’s items like diapers, baby powder, formula, and toys.

Encinas also mentioned that they need a “reserve pool” of volunteers to do jobs as they arrive, like maintenance or other odd jobs. Specifically, they need someone with experience fixing cars to be on call to tune up their van, which they use to help their clients get to court, therapy, or run errands.

Donations can be dropped off at their office in Priest River at 6501 U.S. 2, or by appointment at their satellite offices in Sandpoint or Spirit Lake by scheduling an appointment at 208-448-2800.

Priest River Ministries also has a flurry of events coming up. Until Oct. 31, PRM is leading a fundraising campaign with jars at local stores in Priest River and Sandpoint asking shoppers to “put in your two cents against domestic violence.”

Starting Oct. 11-27, raffle items will be on display and tickets for sale at the Columbia Bank in Priest River. Oct. 18, Priest River Ministries is hosting a meet and greet with coffee, doughnuts, and a tour of their Priest River facility from 9-11 a.m. at 6501 U.S. 2 in Priest River. Oct. 25 is the walk of remembrance for loved ones who have died due to domestic violence. The walk will begin at 11:30 a.m. on the north side of Merritt’s Bridge.

Priest River Ministries, which provides community advocacy, works very closely with LillyBrooke (formerly known as the Victim Assistance Support Team VAST), which provides system advocacy and is part of the Prosecutor’s Office.

PRM does not encourage nor discourage survivors from reporting alleged crimes and is often the last step before a victim does eventually talk to police. The LillyBrooke Family Justice Center, however, always encourages survivors to file a complaint if a crime may have occurred.

Rossemary Udrizar, LillyBrooke’s victim witness coordinator, said she always encourages survivors to notify the authorities. LillyBrooke staff help fill out one to two protection orders a day. More resources are listed at LillyBrookeFJC.org.

This is usually the first step for someone who arrives at LillyBrooke. A staff member then sits down with them to better understand their needs. LillyBrooke partners with Kaniksu Health Services to provide therapy for those that need it. Peggy Frye, the program director, is also a forensic interviewer who regularly assists police and prosecutors in interviewing children who may be witnesses or victims of a crime.

LilllyBrooke used to have a women’s shelter in Ponderay, but the grant funding dried up. Now, if a DV victim needs housing, they send them to Priest River Ministries. LillyBrooke, named after two children wrapped up in a domestic violence case a few years ago, attempts to serve the victim while also assisting prosecutors if requested. One of their most frequent duties is going out to potential scenes of domestic violence or child abuse if asked to do so by law enforcement.

For those who want to support LillyBrooke, they are not yet able to accept donations online but monetary donations should be made out to the LillyBrooke Family Justice Center at 227 S. First Avenue, Sandpoint, ID 83864.

LillyBrooke manages a 24-hour helpline at 208-265-3586 for those in need of assistance in Bonner County. The Idaho Domestic Violence Hotline, which serves all Idahoans, is 1-800-669-3176. LillyBrooke also states that, if you are in immediate danger, call 911.