Mary Beth Murphy, 62
Mary Beth Murphy passed away Feb. 9, 2023, after a 13-month battle with metastatic non-small cell lung cancer.
Tough, extremely fit, generous, fiercely independent, lover of the underdog, open-minded, kind, funny, always positive, fearless, beautiful: she was a truly remarkable person. Mary Beth was a wife, mom, grandmother, sister, best friend, life and business partner, entrepreneur, yoga/pilates instructor/certified personal trainer, avid fisherwoman, hardcore mountain biker, alpine and skate skier, single rowing scull aficionado, hiker, runner, walker, serial (and unintentionally hilarious) mispronouncer and misuser of words and phrases, tremendous cook, homemade kombucha and smoothie making fanatic, handgun crack-shot, crazy bar room dancer, hula-hooper, wake surfer and professional-grade sleeper and napper.
Among many descriptions of her we’ve received from friends, two appear constantly: positive and fearless. She exuded positive energy and knew how to use it. She consistently complimented, encouraged and included everyone in her life. She intuitively knew who needed a positive word or a friend. She also trained herself to be unafraid of failure. While this led to fractured pelvises, collarbones and tibial plateaus, and the occasional failed entrepreneurial venture, it also made her very interesting and inspirational. She never half-assed anything. The one thing she did fear was the regret of not trying something she was interested in. As a friend wrote to us after she died: “She was always improving herself with activities and new endeavors. She was never afraid to try new pursuits.” She was an example of making life happen for you rather than to you.
Mary Beth was a true force of nature, and we’re not sure how the world is going to replace all that positive energy. As the news of her death trickles out, the breadth of her positive impact quickly became apparent. For example, just two days after her death, a large crowd of skiers gathered at Schweitzer Mountain Resort in an impromptu memorial to her, christening her favorite powder stash in the trees off Chair 4 with a new trail sign: “MB’s Stash.”
She was born Mary Elizabeth Hodgens in Butte, Mont., on Oct. 28, 1960. After a few early years in Billings and Anaconda, Mont., she graduated from Butte High School in 1978, then worked her way through Montana State University in Bozeman, graduating in 1982. She immediately moved to Seattle on her own, with no job prospects, and began her lifelong, successful mission to be independent and actively live her life. She waited tables, worked for the state of Washington, volunteered at a juvenile detention center, launched Haagen Dazs ice cream to the Seattle market, then moved to Spokane in 1984 to work for Nestle Foods as a sales rep, where she absolutely thrived.
After she became a full-time mom in 1991, she taught fitness classes, launched a successful fund-raising business to benefit her daughters’ Catholic school, opened north Spokane’s first yoga/pilates studio, ran a cinema pre-show advertising business and a multi-family real estate business with her husband, launched her own patented physical therapy device company (Finger Yogi), and was a dedicated public servant and elected Pend Oreille County (Washington) Fire District commissioner. Her volunteer resume is too lengthy to detail here. For the last 10 years, she lived six months each year at Schweitzer Mountain Resort above Sandpoint, Idaho, and six months at her home on Bead Lake, Wash.
She met Kelly Murphy at Montana State University in Bozeman on Jan. 30, 1981, when they were 20 years old. They were instantly inseparable and remained so for 42 years and 10 days. They married in 1987. They both cherished their extraordinary relationship, with their last conversation a few hours before her death being a loving, comical tear-fest about how much fun they’d had together, how great their lives had been and how fortunate they were to have each other. She was the best thing to ever happen to Kelly Murphy, and he always knew it.
It is an understatement to say that her children adored her and she adored them. Daughter Lauren Kyle lives in Tomball Texas, with her husband, Tanner Kyle, where she is a full-time mom to sons Waylon (3 years) and Ford (5 months), and is also launching her own business. Youngest daughter Jocelyn Murphy makes her home in Bend, Ore., with her husband, Jackson Rich. She is a traveling cardiac ICU nurse. Mary Beth was immensely proud of her daughters. “Gam Gam” was also head over heels in love with her grandsons and traveled frequently to visit them until she could no longer fly.
She faced a severe health challenge in 1990 that permanently threatened her ability to live an active life. Rather than accept that verdict, she proceeded in her fierce, methodical way over the years to become one of the most fit, active people you could ever meet. In her 30s and 40s, she was a two-time Washington mountain bike racing state champion and a multi-time solo 24-hour mountain bike race competitor. In her 50s, she competed in the High Cascades 100 (mile) mountain bike race and, along with her daughters, ran half-marathons and a triathlon. She downhill-skied 100 days per season for the last 10 years. In the summer she would meditate on her deck at the lake in the morning, chanting away in her bikini, swatting away curious bees and her nosy junkyard dog, Caly, then row her scull on Bead Lake for an hour or two. On the morning she was diagnosed with the cancer that would kill her, she skate-skied 10 miles. While alive, she lived.
Finally, she developed a deeply personal relationship with God over the course of her adult life, which carried her through her last 13 months. She lived her faith. She walked her talk. This is not to say that she took her bleak cancer diagnosis lying down, or that she was passive about God’s will. Oh no, no, no! She had many loud conversations with God about all of this! It was who she was.
It never occurred to her to accept the hand she was dealt or to give up. She was unrelenting. She was focused and positive. She overcame. She was her daughters’ and her husband’s hero. And yet, when it was time to surrender, she surrendered. She was truly remarkable.
In addition to her husband, daughters, sons-in-law, and grandsons, Mary Beth is also survived by her mother, Cecelia Hodgens; brothers Thomas Hodgens and John Hodgens; and multiple nieces and nephews. She leaves in her wake quite literally hundreds of friends from all walks of life, all over the country.
A funeral service will be held Friday, May 12, at St. Thomas the Apostle Catholic Church in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, at 1 p.m. Following the funeral, at 4 p.m., there will be a celebration of life/big ol’ party at the Coeur d’Alene Eagles Club to honor and celebrate the truly extraordinary person she was. There will be food, an open bar and the world’s greatest bar band, The RUB. If you knew Mary Beth, please try to make it to both events. She will be honored that you made the effort on her behalf.
Mary Beth asked that in lieu of flowers, any donations in her honor be directed to either the Go2 for Lung Cancer Foundation (go2.org) or to Youth Emergency Services of Pend Oreille County at 229 N. Calispel Ave., Newport, WA 99156.
