Love does not seek its own
What is the greatest characteristic of love?
Now when I speak of love, I am not speaking of romantic love or the gooey fondness or affection we have for one another. But, I am speaking of the love defined in the Bible that never fails, that lasts forever and that was modeled for us by God in the giving of His only Son Jesus, who died on a cross to save humans from their imperfections or what the Bible calls sin.
Here is the biblical definition of love: "Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Corinthians 13:4)
What strikes me most about God’s long definition of biblical love is the characteristic of putting others before yourself, “Love does not seek its own!”
It is in my opinion the most profound and challenging characteristic of the love described in the Bible. I hear couples that I counsel regularly say things like, “I don’t love this person anymore” and I respond that biblical love is what keeps a relationship alive and we are commanded to one another by God, it is not a feeling, it is a choice! And, by the way, if you choose to love this person, or anyone else for that matter, the feelings will always follow.
If you are reading this article and you think you have fallen out of love with someone or finding it impossible to love someone you don’t like, then make the choice today to love them anyway, with sacrificial love, and watch how God changes your perspective and “feelings” for the other person.
Imagine what would happen if husbands put their wife’s needs before their own needs or if a wife put her husband’s needs before her own. Divorce rates would plummet.
Let’s face it, we all have a “What’s in it for me, or How can you please me, or What can I get from this relationship” mentality. After all the world we live in fosters this kind of thinking and selfishness. Perhaps this is why God’s love is so profound.
In the fourth book in the New Testament, the apostle John writes, “For God so loved you (the world) that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16). In other words, God put your needs for a Savior before the life of His only Son Jesus! Said another way, God made a choice to love you!
Jesus would then go on to say, “Greater love have no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends and this is what you are if you do what I command you” (John 15:13-14)
So what does Jesus command us to do? Simple, love others! But He didn’t just tell us what to do, He showed us what true love looks like by giving up His own life in exchange for yours … doing for you what you could not do for yourself! Jesus proved He was indeed who He claimed to be … God who created the heavens and the earth … when He rose three days later from a grave, which also proved He alone has the power over eternal life and death.
• Let me encourage you today to start loving others as God loves you.
• Start loving others with the love of Jesus, by choosing to love others.
• Love others with biblical love that puts their needs before your own because,
Love does not seek its own needs, but the needs of others first!
Dr. Steve Brown is pastor at North Summit Church. The church can be found online at northsummitchurch.com.