Keys to healthy relationships

“All you need is love” is a famous 1960s song by The Beatles. But is that truly ALL we need? It is true that the Bible says love is to be the pre-eminent aspect of how we relate to others.

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3, NIV)

So, without love we are just “making noise,” we will not gain the territory we are hoping to in people’s lives, and all our efforts will amount to nothing. Love must permeate everything we say and do. In all our interactions, it is essential to lead with love, be motivated by love, and be filled with love.

Love, in and of itself, however, is insufficient. Jesus said, “…the truth will set you free” (John 8:32, NIV) and we are also instructed to “… speak truthfully to your neighbor …” (Ephesians 4:25, NIV). Truth, then, is vital to healthy relationships.

When talking about the need for both truth and love, it’s helpful to see two sides of the same proverbial coin: 1) “Love without truth is a lie”, and 2) “Truth without love is a hammer”. Both love and truth must coexist and be in harmony with each other. As the Bible teaches, we are to “… speak the truth in love …” (Ephesians 4:15, NIV).

But is this sufficient? Is “speaking the truth in love” all we need? What about the WAY in which we speak and do things? What about the aspect of grace? God handles our heart with grace and in our interactions with others we are meant to do no less; we must also exercise this virtue.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:12-13, NIV).

Relationships can be difficult, but they are made easier if we keep in mind that love, truth, and grace must be present and be harmonious in our interactions with others. In other words, we must consistently practice “truth in love preceded by grace.”

Jim Kubiak serves as a pastor-at-large in Bonner County. He can be reached at JimKubiak7@gmail.com.