Unburdening the soul through grief

What is grief?  

Grief is the natural, normal, and necessary response to loss. It is the emotional pain and sadness associated with adjusting to a loss. It is how God has equipped us to process loss in this fallen world.   

It has been said that “grief is the celebration of the loss of a good gift from God through tears.” 

We normally think of grief as being associated with the death of a loved one, but grief is associated with ANY significant loss. It includes such things as the loss of a job, position, or income; the loss of health or physical ability; when the kids leave home; the loss of a pet; and major changes in life such as divorce, moving, or retiring and many other kinds of losses. 

Sometimes I hear Christians say that we shouldn’t grieve or that our experience of it should be minimal; that somehow our faith makes us immune to or substantially less likely to experience grief; that it is a sign of emotional and spiritual immaturity to grieve or to grieve significantly. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Jesus said this in the Sermon on the Mount: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4 (ESV) 

Furthermore, Jesus not only experienced grief, but He was also intimately familiar with it.  

"He was … a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief …" Isaiah 53:3a (ESV)

If Jesus was not immune to grief; what makes us think we will be? We are made in His image. We have emotions and experience grief because He has emotions and experienced grief.   

Painful losses need to be grieved. If they are not, we end up carrying the pain and it can have significant negative mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, and social impacts on us and others. Once a loss has been processed, we can embrace joy and hope in the present as well as for the promise of a joy-filled, griefless eternity with God: 

"You changed my sorrow [mourning] into dancing. You took away my clothes of sadness [sackcloth] and clothed me in happiness [joy]. Psalm 30:11 (EXB)

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.  "1 Thessalonians 4:13 (NIV)"

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever. Revelation 21:4 (NLT)

Grieving deeply and fully is what makes it possible for us to process the emotional pain and sorrow associated with the losses that occur in this world. It is an “unburdening of the soul” that frees us to move forward with our lives. 

Jim Kubiak serves as a pastor-at-large in Bonner County. He can be reached at JimKubiak7@gmail.com.